I really appreciate the comments and thoughtful discussion that my last post generated. It’s really nice to have this forum to share my thoughts.
I feel like I need to share a little background given my last post. I really am not anti-school. If anything, I have a history of being less than supportive of homeshooling. Boy, have I learned my lesson! Our personal experience was this – we put Tornado Boy into “Mom’s Morning Out” one day a week when he turned 2 1/2. We chose to send him that early because he is an only child and we wanted to make sure that he had time to learn to deal with other children. We really weren’t too worried about the socializing aspect since he is a very outgoing child, but we wanted him to learn to deal with structure and to share, etc. We only left him there for a few months. The program utilized a carpool line. They can be fabulous if you’re dealing with other young siblings. For us, it was a drawback. I felt like I never got face time with his teacher and I really had no idea how he was doing in the program. His teacher also changed part way though the “semester” without warning. That was enough for me to want to move him.
The second school that we selected was much more formal. It was well-known and highly regarded. I really liked the first room as the co-teacher in his room really took to him. She always was with him when I picked him up from his half-day. I got good feedback and she was responsive to anything that I had concerns about. He learned his colors late compared to his peers. I wondered if he might be color-blind and mentioned this. Within two weeks, he knew his colors. Tornado Boy moved up to the next class and definitely presented more of a challenge to those teachers. His inability to sit still was definitely more of a problem in the next room, and I certainly understood their frustration as I dealt with it much more than they did. I wondered how well they really knew him when he received a “sometimes” score on his report in the section for “understands the correspondence between written and spoken word”. I had never mentioned that he had been reading for about six months at that point. Clearly, they hadn’t figured it out.
Tornado Boy changed classrooms again in a few months. The new teacher was really excited to have him in her class. She had seen me in the hall with him one day and saw that he was reading the signs. I was really excited that she was excited. During the summer, the school is in “play” mode, which is fine. We had asked the school to see their Kindergarten curriculum since they have a private K class and we were considering sending TB there since it was center-based rather than desk based. When we looked at the curriculum, we realized that at barely 4-years-old, TB already had covered nearly the entire program with the exception of writing skills. The school itself didn’t have a strong writing program – they were just tracing. They were also not going to put TB into their pre-K program because of his summer birthday. When I talked to his teacher, she told me that “they couldn’t support him academically this year.” My thought was “then why am I paying you?”
We were at somewhat of an impasse. We looked at several other area preschools. None of them thrilled us. We really liked the local Montessori school that went up through 8th grade. We toured and applied. I loved that the young children were already working on writing skills and that reading was part of the mixed-age classroom. The location was not convenient, and I wasn’t thrilled that the program was 5-days a week. It was a lot of money. We still felt like the hands on work would be a good fit for Tornado Boy. I was struck by two things when I toured – the classes were large – 25 3-5 year olds, and darn, it was pretty quiet in there. I loved their math manipulatives. We were hopeful. After weeks of back and forth, we were told that while TB was more than ready academically, they could not handle his activity level and lack of listening skills. They put him “on hold”. Back to square one.
Our hope had always been to hold Tornado Boy until 6 for Kindergarten. My husband and I both graduated from high school at 17, so we knew what that experience was like. TB is also short in stature. Everything that I’ve read about Kindergarten readiness indicated that willingness to follow directions was far more important than academic skills. We were clearly in a real bind. Tornado Dad suggested that we give homeschooling a try. My jaw hit the ground. I think it stayed there for about three days. At that point, I started doing serious research into homeschooling. How did it work? Could it work for us? We went ahead and pulled TB out of preschool in order to give homeschooling a ‘dry run’ of sorts while he was 4 years old. I was none-too-sure that I’d have the patience for it. Much to my surprise, it’s been a fabulous experience. TB has really enjoyed it and never looked back when we pulled him out of preschool.
I decided to closely watch the experience of other moms who had kids with TB’s activity level and advance learning tendencies who went to public school this year. No one really had both, but I learned enough to know that homeschooling is the right answer for us – for now. I’m not sure how long we’ll do it for. I’d still like to think that the Montessori school might work – but I’m not sure he’ll ever have the self-control that they require. We’ve also looked at a few private schools – a lot are out of range price-wise. One very small one for gifted kids seems like a possible fit. They’re interested in him, but I’m just not ready to put him into a situation where he immediately becomes the “problem child” and is ostracized. He’s such a happy kid and it would just break my heart if he hated school because he really loves to learn. I really don’t want to face having to undo such damage.
So, we head into homeschooling one year at a time. We’ll do Kindergarten and re-evaluate next spring. I’m not sure how long we’ll be able to pull it off academically, or financially, but I am committed to doing the best that I can for my son.
Your post just echoed a lot of our experiences although we are a lot more limited on school choices here as we are in a fairly small town in a rural area. But we have heard and experiences many of the same things. It seems to be very hard for schools to deal with very gifted learners with VERY high activity levels. I know how exhausting it can be. We do some montessori activities at home, but she can not be still….she is always moving. She will be putting together a 100 piece puzzle, standing up, fidgiting, and singing, all at the same time. LOL….definitly doesn’t work at most schools.
I myself never thought we would homeschool, and didnt understand why people did. I had a great school experience myself growing up. Magnet schools, and a gifted program within that, but now here I find myself just trying to do the best I can for my daughter…taking it year by year as you are.
Just want to sy how nice it is to hear someone else write what I have been experiencing. TY!
We came to homeschooling for different reasons, health mostly. Since our daughter is an only child, I thought she should be in an environment with other kids. But what I learned was that I can provide those things without having her in a school setting! It takes more effort on my part since I’m not crazy about meeting new people and putting myself out there but the experiences have taught me more than I had imagined. Everyone is surprised how social and outgoing she is, especially since she was a slow to warm baby/toddler. I truly believe the bonds she has formed allowed her to feel secure and confident enough to venture out to new people and places. I still worry I might not be able to provide her social needs but I do my best to make sure she is healthy, well-adjusted and happy. Many family members were against the idea of homeschooling but they have commented that she’s doing great and that maybe I should homeschool her. That has given me more confidence. Also, they also recognize that she may be bored in school since she is advanced but that has never been the initial reason for not sending her to school. We also tried one excellent parent co-op and I wad so excited because they followed a constructivist approach but that turned out to be a disappointment when last minute, they placed a new teacher for her age group. We were there for one month and I realized that we have done a lot of the same things they were doing at home. So that took away my worries about missing out on something wonderful that others might be doing. Now, we just do our own thing…meet with old and new friends…and I hope to get more community involvement in this year. We also get the benefit of her not getting sick so much from school. For our needs, health came first and foremost reason to homeschool but discovered unexpected benefits!
Thanks for creating a forum for this…it’s nice to how others have come to where they are. Like you, we are looking at it one year at a time. So far, we have done it without a curriculum but have learned a lot!
I think you are doing terrific job with TB. We followed exactly the same path – we also chose to put Anna in school for 2 mornings a week when she was 2.5. It seemed to work well, but then similar thing happened with us – the teachers changed, some kids graduated (she was in a mixed group), and suddenly she was falling apart every morning on drop-off. It transpired that they moved her to a different class without even telling us. I was not pleased, to say the least. Luckily, the spot opened in the school she is in now (she was on the waiting list), and she took to it right away. The program is not academic at all – they were doing letter of the week all year. But it has a lot of emphasis on art, music, and on learning to get along – something that I simply don’t know how to give her. I am not crafty, I am tone deaf and learning to get along requires having someone to get along with. And Anna is the opposite of TB – she is usually very eager to please – that’s why I am so confident that she will do fine in structured settings.
It looks like you found what works for TB, and he enjoys your instruction. It definitely makes sense to keep him home from school for another year and see where his talents take him. I might just bite all my passionate defense of public school system once my daughter enters it, but for now I choose to be optimistic.
Natalie, I definitely think that you should feel optimistic. Without the behavioral issues, I’d love to give the public school a try – ours is about a 1/2 mile up the road and well-ranked. Couldn’t ask for more, right? LOL
I love the art stuff that Anna’s school does. One of my frustrations with the preschools around here was that most of them were 5 days a week once they hit 4 years old. I don’t want him to go that often since I’m at home. We’ve had pretty good luck at the local kid’s art/music/gym class. I’ll have to post the craft that he did the other day, it was really cute.
Natalie- some kids thrive in a school environment! Homeschool is not for everyone. You know your child best and the needs of your family.
Luckily, Anna’s school has various attendance options. She goes for 3 mornings a week, so I feel that the balance is just right.
I have enjoyed reading both this post and the your previous post on the same topic. My oldest son is also four but he has a December birthday so he will have another full year of Pre-K also. This year he attended a school for 5 hours a day, 2 days a week and he will do the same next year. I have had suggestions that I put him in more days or even push him up to Kindergarten. I firmly believe that younger children should not spend too much time in a structured learning environment. They need the freedom to play, explore, and play some more. Since he truly enjoys his school he will go there for Pre-K (take two) next year. After that I plan to homeschool him for Kindergarten. We will take it year to year after that.